Is it just us? We seem to be WAY more interested in people that we suspect of being fellow queers than they seem to be in us. And its not always easy to make the identification. Gay men are fairly easy to ID, but confirming dykedom is a little trickier. Since we live in Louisiana, simply having a mullett and wearing "comfortable" clothing does not guarantee that someone is a lesbian. I have observed women in the local WalMart, positive that they are dykes, only to have their mostly toothless husband/boyfriend and 6 kids under the age of 5 walk up to them. Before I go any further, I want to clarify that the process of identification is just a hobby. No wagering allowed. We mean no harm, we don't want anything, we simply want to see who else belongs to the elite "Lesbian Club". The first clue to look for is anything with a rainbow on it. This should be a requirement...all dykes must wear something with a rainbow when they are out in public. If this gives us no clue, next we look at the ring finger. But yet again, this does not guarantee that we have found one of us. There are a lot of lesbians (and gay men) who wear wedding rings now (including us). Next, look in the shopping cart....lots of makeup? probably not a dyke (unless its me)...organic produce?....signs are good....Cosmo and Glamour magazines...sorry, not this time...Southern Living and Family Circle?...maybe she just likes to cook (by the way, my wife/partner/love of my life informs me that Southern Living does now feature gay male couples in their magazine, but dykes are strangely absent). But back to the question at hand, is it just us? When we are driving in the car, sometimes we see a car (or even better, a truck) with rainbows and HRC symbols and triangle bumper stickers. Two women are in it, sitting beside each other. We are like little kids playing the "I spy a dyke vehicle" game! But, as we pass them (so that they can see our bumper stickers and fully appreciate that we are ALSO dykes, they do not as much as turn their heads in our direction...no wave, no excitement, no pointing at our stickers. What a letdown. So, what is it? Why are we so much more excited to see other lesbians than they are to see us? Is it validation we need? Is it a sense of belonging? Does anyone have a clue?
This blog is about our life....two dykes, a mortgage, dogs, cats, turtles, lizards, a son, gardens, friends, jobs, and all of the things that go into our "alternative lifestyle". We are the dykes next door, the ones who live in your neighborhood, mow their yards, work, pay taxes, and try to destroy heterosexual marriage by having a great life together.